Sex Makes People Stupid

As if any MORE evidence were needed to show that sex can impair someone's judgment --- here comes Tiger Woods buried under a mountain of evidence that he has been unfaithful to his wife (with at least 14 mistresses.) Major endorsement contracts, perhaps even his future in the sport he dominates, suddenly teetering like a house of cards.

My first reaction was overwhelming sadness because another hero and role model has imploded. I felt the same way when I heard about Kobe Bryant in 1994. Both of them had reached the absolute pinnacle of their fields, only to be brought low by their lack of self-control.

What I keep turning over in my mind however, is NOT that Tiger Woods had a bevvy of ladies that he was juggling... not that he risked EVERYTHING for sexual excitement... not that the man with legendary control over every aspect of his game could be so wildly out of control in another area of his life... but, frankly, that his WIFE thought he could be faithful.

Follow me here: Tiger Woods was well-known as a Las Vegas partyer while he was single, frequently seen with a diverse assortment of beautiful women on his arm. In our culture, when you're a handsome bachelor it's a given that you'll have a string of partners. But, prior to getting married, his bride-to-be, Elin Nordegren, made it clear she expected this behavior to stop. Then she married him without any demonstration or proof that his was something he was capable of doing!

This is a very typical female line of thought. I have this conversation over and over with women who have been cheated on:

Me: So he cheated on his last girlfriend with you?
Her: Well, yeah, but their relationship wasn't going anywhere.
Me: Had he told her that?
Her: I don't know. He said they fought all the time.
Me: Uh huh. Did he cheat on the girlfriend he had before her?
Her: Well, she wasn't really his girlfriend. She was just some girl he hung out with.
Me: Someone he was just using for sex?
Her: Ummmm, yeah.
Me: So, he cheated on at least the two previous girls he was with, but you thought he wouldn't cheat on you?
Her: Ummmm, yeah.
Me: Based on what evidence?
Her: He said he would never cheat on me!

I'm not kidding.

For the record: the BEST predictor of future behavior is PAST behavior. Impulse control is a skill that takes practice. You don't magically become capable of resisting temptation because you put on a wedding band (for cryin' out loud! it's not a force field!) This is so elementary: If your partner never has to prove to you that he/she can resist temptation, by resisting YOU, then you have no reason to believe they're capable of resisting anyone else!

Duh. I have so much expertise in this, I could write a book about it!

Wait a minute! I did! Sex Makes People Stupid: How To Avoid Ending Up With a Weenie