Did You MEAN to Raise a Sexually Active Teen?

It's here! Everything I've learned about how teens think, and how to help them make good decisions about sex are in a new book called Did You MEAN to Raise a Sexually Active Teen?

I can't tell you how to get them to do their homework, but I can tell you how they think, and how you can become their BEST SOURCE of information about sex, love and relationships. The dangers young people face are very real and sometimes leave permanent scars. And what most adults do instinctively -- DOESN'T WORK!!

I've seen the results of the Sleeping Beauty Method, where well-meaning parents try to cocoon their child in hopes of keeping out any sexual thought until they graduate from college. I've heard the arguments for Lowering the Bar to some standard that can be applied to just about anything (wait til you're "ready", for cryin' out loud.) And I've seen how desperate parents are to change their teen's behavior with information... but information doesn't change behavior.

This book is not JUST for girls and it's not written in Christianese. It's full of my practical and humorous tips that you can put to use immediately, and see results immediately. If you are a parent, a grandparent, a pastor, a teacher, a youth leader or just concerned about kids --- this will help you make the case for sexual self-control.

And I truly hope you will!

Bragging About My Husband

I love to tell people that my husband writes me poetry. It comes as a surprise (just like the fact that he's an accomplished tap dancer) because he's so... well... BIG. Truth be told, he's not doing too much dancing these days, but he IS still writing me poetry.Jim was inspired to write it because I went to Sacramento for conference for 5 days. Before this trip, we had never been apart for more than 3 days tops.


I'm undergoing the longest 5 days of my life.
The first 5 days EVER without my wife.
She off and away on another God errand.
What more can I say, but, "Yep, that's my Karen."
She teaches and preaches with sexual speeches
'Bout relating and dating and mating and waiting.

Wherever she goes, folks are glad that she came,
No matter where, their story's the same.
"We've heard this before, but never quite like this:
How in your youth you treasured each kiss.
But then in adulthood it all went awry,
As usual it centered on some selfish guy."

And though the example seems a common enough story
What Satan meant for ill, God will use for His glory.
By teaching the youth the error of their ways,
I guess it worth at least 5 of my days.
Without my wife (though painful for sure)
For the joy set before me I'll have to endure.
The 5 loneliest nights is like bread without leaven.
It's flat and its tasteless. (Thank God it's not 7!)
But I'll give up the 5 for riches in heaven.

(James Kropf 7-17-10)

(Thanks Honeybear. kk)

It Doesn't Work? Spend More Money!!

Here's something I bet you never heard...

Pregnancy rates in the US had been on the rise until 1993. From 1993 to 2006, pregnancy rates began to decline. In 2006, for the first time in 14 years pregnancy rates have begun going up.

• 1993 (the year the decline began) was the first year public schools introduced abstinence programs.
  
• In 2006 (the year the rates began to go up), the ACLU threatened lawsuits for discrimination against school districts whose sex education programs standard was "abstinence-until-marriage."
  

A cause-and-effect? Maybe, you say. OK, grab your high-blood pressure medicine, and follow the latest sex ed. developments.

Here's how your tax money for sex education was spent.

• Title V began in 1994. It is currently funded at $50 million a year. This federal program gives a block of money for Abstinence Based Education to states who match every $4 with $3 from their own budget.
• Since 2006, school districts in states who accepted this money have been the target of lawsuits by the ACLU, so only about 30 states currently accept the funds.
• Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) allowed individual abstinence programs to receive federal grants without requiring the state to match funds. CBAE was denfunded in 2009 by the Obama Administration.
  
• When all the abstinence education (ASE) money was added up in 2008, it totaled $176 million.
• When all the "comprehensive" sex education (CSE) money was added up it came to $609 million plus $27 Billion for HIV prevention programs.

In the 2010 budget, President Obama created two NEW funding streams for Teen Pregnancy Prevention. Tier I is $75 Million for existing evidence-based programs. And Tier 2 provides $15-$25 million for research and demonstration grants.

Here's the kicker: NONE of the new money can go toward Abstinence Education. Every penny of it has to go toward a "comprehensive" approach. (In government-speak that means you say abstinence is effective, but your main focus is getting teens to use condoms. Most comprehensive sex ed. programs discuss condoms over abstinence at a ratio of 7:1.)

Now, this is the REALLY funny part. TWO well-documented reports have been published showing comprehensive sex ed programs DON'T WORK!

The first was conducted by John Jemmott, PhD and published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine (here). It showed that in head-to-head measurements, only 33% of students who received abstinence based education were sexually active 2 years later compared to 50% of students who received comprehensive sex ed (abstinence plus condoms message), "safe sex" education (condoms only) and the control group (health information with no extra emphasis on sexuality).

This study marks the first time ASE and CSE programs were evaluated side-by-side, with the same at-risk population. It came as a surprise to some people who promoted handing out all that CSE money for the last 3 decades.

The other report came from the Institute for Research and Evaluation. Unlike every other evaluator of sex education, IRE doesn't have a dog in this hunt. They don't create or sell sex education programs. They just look at the evidence of what they produce.

Their evaluations (see pdfs here), over several years, in head-to-head comparisons found that:

• The CSE programs touted as "effective in reducing teen pregnancy and STDs" didn't actually MEASURE pregnancy or infection rates at all.
  
• NONE of them increased consistent condom use or had an effect on delaying sexual initiation over time.
  
• But several studies have shown that ASE programs (the ones that just had their funding cut) are proven to be effective at delaying sexual initiation.

Oh, dear, how awkward that the new funding is only for existing "evidence based" programs.

Remember CSE gets $609 million dollars a year vs. ASE which got $176 million per year. The programs which cost taxpayers LESS money, and are MORE effective have been eliminated. The programs which HAVEN'T worked for the last 30 years, and cost taxpayers MORE are about to get an additional $100 million dollars.

Yep, reminds you of President Regan's old saying:
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"