A Teen Pregnancy To Talk About

So, the new Vice Presidential pick has a pregnant 17 year old daughter. Gov. Palin has been a strong supporter of abstinence education. I have already heard, as I'm sure you will, that this is PROOF that "abstinence doesn't work."

First, let me point out, abstinence ALWAYS works. Obviously this child was NOT abstinent.

Here's the thing, while Governor Palin supports abstinence-until-marriage as the healthiest behavior, Alaska is a "comprehensive sex education" state. They have not been receiving federal funding for abstinence education.

That means, Bristol Palin was not "deprived" of information about contraception. In this day and age, even in Alaska, it is surely impossible to avoid the discovery that:

1. Sex makes babies
2. There are pills, shots, creams, foams and condoms which can prevent pregnancy
3. You can get at least some of them in any drug store, and all of them at the local Planned Parenthood clinic

The governor's daughter made a decision to have sex and the outcome is that what she probably HOPED wouldn't happen did happen. Period. That's the only thing we can conclude.

No one except these teenage parents know if they used protection that failed, or if they were inconsistent in their use of it. What we do know is these two teenagers made an adult decision to have sex, it produced an adult consequence (parenthood) and they have made an adult decision to sacrifice their own self-interest (staying children themselves as long as possible). They are probably not prepared for both marriage and parenthood, but they have decided they had better get ready. The circumstances of conception are not the baby's fault, so its up to the mom and dad to shoulder the responsibility for the nurturance of that life.

As far as which sex education works (I think as an abstinence educator for 10 years I'm more qualified than most to answer this)... it depends on your goal. If the goal is to REDUCE pregnancy and the spread of disease, then we need to give lots of information about how much you can minimize risk and accept there will still be human error and product failure which results in some affected percentage of teens.

If, however, the goal is to ensure a teen's greatest chance for physical, emotional and relational well-being, then the focus must be 0n providing the character tools one needs to be successful at sexual self-control. The ability to manage sexual passion is the gateway for achievement: relationally, professionally and educationally.

Few challenges in life equal the difficulty of controlling passion. Temptation is a constant nagging drive, whipped to a frenzy at times by youth culture. But, by learning to control it, a person acquires skills which sets the stage to accomplish other goals.

Choosing not to give in to temptation, consciously putting the health, future and safety of other people ahead of a selfish impulse... these choices demonstrate great character qualities in a way that using condoms & contraception do NOT. One is the choice to eliminate any risk to their partner. The other, since "safe sex" is not 100% effective, demonstrates at least some willingness to put their partner (and their potential product of conception) at risk.

It's not enough to say "don't have sex." It's also not enough to educate and/or distribute condoms and contraception. It is essential that young people of this generation be taught "its not nice to use others" too.

I say again, abstinence ALWAYS works. But without teaching the code of honor behind it, without demonstrating there is greater love in sacrifice, without linking sexual self-control to the effect it will have on the range of choices for the future --- its as ineffective as "don't have sex, here's a condom."

(For further insight on the most obvious reason "safe sex" fails, read my post, "Teens Pact to Get Pregnant" http://www.blogger.com/posts.g?blogID=8475109099933460680)