Jim and I saw a commercial for Windex recently. In it, the napping presumptive husband is so disoriented by how bright his sliding glass door is that he wakes up and says, "This is not my house!" Then proceeds to bounce off the glass a few times.
It was just one more example of how contemptuously the culture portrays men. I found myself wondering, Why do men put up with it? They can't enjoy being depicted as bumbling idiots who occasionally stumble on the right solution.
I reflected on the contrast. As a teenager, I had a major crush on Clark Gable. He was the epitome of masculinity to me. Invariably he played a rake, who was (by the end of the movie) barely tamed by his lover. There's line in The Tall Men (one of his last films) where Montgomery Clift says, "He's what every boy hopes he will be and what every old man wishes he was."
Today's teen boys get a steady diet of Adam Sandler and Ashton Kutcher or Martin Lawrence and Chris Rock. How will they envision themselves as leaders and protectors with those role models?
I'm a product of the generation who thought "if we just make boys more like girls, it will solve all the world's problems." Getting rid of natural male aggression by encouraging "peace" and eliminating sexually predatory behavior by making sex readily available was supposed to balance the scales. Men raised without a reason to fight or to impress women would evolve into everything a girl could want!
Howzat workin' for ya?
Want to know a secret? I absolutely LOVE that my husband still lifts heavy things to impress me! And any young woman who gets a chance should listen to a wounded Marine talk about how he would do it all again because he loves his unit and his country... that tightening in your chest is how it feels to be loved for REAL. And it sure transcends anything Hollywood has cooked up since Clark Gable died.
Young Woman, take little advice from your Aunt Karen, don't chase boys. Girls who make the first move, ask the guy out... are training their guy to be romantically lazy. I'm serious. It's human nature to take the path of least resistance. If a young man doesn't have to impress you to get your attention --- he won't. If he doesn't have to achieve something to win your admiration and affection --- he won't.
You hear women complain about their boyfriend/husband not pursuing them, taking them for granted. Dig a little deeper and you'll find out most women trained their guy to be that way.
Call me old-fashioned, but knowing another guy might come along and sweep his girl off her feet made was pretty good motivation, back in the day.
Turn into Judge Judy some afternoon and see the parade of girls trying to get back the money they loaned to some loser. He's claiming it was a "gift" and she's out hundreds or thousands. You have to ask yourself, what was she thinking?
She was thinking she was getting Clark Gable but she ended up with Adam Sandler.
As a culture we train boys to stay boys. They never grow up. They fail to take responsibility for themselves and the babies they make... so does that Windex commercial represent reality not parody? I don't know.
But I do know sitting next to a very masculine man watching a commercial depict another man as a stooge gave me a sharp pang of conscience. It got me thinking, What can I do, this week, today to celebrate masculinity? How can I change the cultural message?
Any suggestions?
This Is Us
My True Love
About Me
- gladiw8d
- I married the man of my dreams on September 1st of 2001.*** Ten days later the world changed. As we watched the towers fall and our thoughts raced ahead to what would come next, my husband said, "If the world ends today, these have been the best 10 days of my life." *** When I decided to exercise my "right to choose" as a teenager, I didn't know that baby would be the only baby. *** Everything I was ever taught about relationships, men & women and a love that lasts forever was a LIE. *** Relationships are hard work --- they don't "just happen." *** Men and women are VERY different and wishing it wasn't so is stupid and counter-productive. *** Love that lasts forever doesn't come from a magical tingly feeling... it comes from pursuing what is best for the one you love, even when its not what YOU want.
Space Rangers
His score is always higher
Space Rangers 2
finally Karen wins!
3 comments:
The only way the cultural message will change is when men decide they are tired of being portrayed like bumbling idiots. Young men need to see in action the true characteristics of masculinity: integrity, discipline, responsibility, courage, self-control, treating women as people and not objects. Boys are bombarded by shows and images in video games of anatomically perfect or overemphasized females with revealing clothing with one activity in mind--sex. Men need to create a new image in the minds of young men as dads, mentors and friends. We can show them how to care for the heart of a young woman. Men need to hang out with these young guys-- care for them, listen to them, and most importantly show them in words and action, what a real man acts like.
There was a time when actors(Clark Gable), directors(John Ford) & hollywood types would proudly enlist in the Armed services to serve this nation! We still have some who are unashamed Patriots. Regrettably most are closet conservatives, cowed by the liberals who run most studios. With "heroes" like michael moore trashing this nation, we are producing a new generation of emasculated men as icons.
Thank God we still have the marines, army, air force etc to protect this nation.
Karen, you were on to somethin' when you mentioned the Marine...our military guys are an excellent example of masculinity--putting the well-being of others FIRST! (I know of very few Hollywood men who would be willing to do that on a regular basis!) Let's bring out into the light these courageous men's stories!!!
~skm :)
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